I want to get “real” here. I was having a hard time (no pun intended) finding a topic to really sink my mind into. I did a google search about the impact of porn on society and through the results I found myself appalled at what I was seeing. So let’s get candid and “real” and take a look at this from a sex workers perspective.
While to some you might say that as a sex working I’m “desensitized” I’m not “objective” and my opinion or thought’s possibly “don’t count” because I can’t possibly have a realistic view here, the truth is that there are two sides to this coin, there are those who work in this industry and those who do not. Of those two groups there are people that find it acceptable and those who do not, there isn’t an in between. No one rides the fence when it comes to how you view the adult industry.
I think this requires all of us to sit down and the table and open this up for some real discussion. To do so we need to understand the groups of those looking at this topic.
You have the anti porn people, like Gail Dines, she is one of the most well known campaigners to shut down the adult industry. She is well educated, has a background with tons of credentials and is used often by the media to speak on adult industry related topics. Gail’s opinions are widely known to anyone who is capable of using google on any level.
There are, on the other hand, those in the industry or sex workers, the people who view or use these services and are pro adult industry. There views are rarely heard. Which only furthers misrepresentations of the sex industry in general. Why is this the case? Because the adult industry isn’t socially acceptable. Those in it don’t talk about it outside of the industry and those in favor of it don’t talk about it in fear of judgment and repercussions.
The unbalance is staggering and leaves the general public in the dark. They think they are informed but so did the German people during Hitler’s reign. It’s only now, after the fact, that we learn how media and propaganda can alter the minds of it’s targeted audience. This is no different even though that may be a harsh example. I’m in no way down playing the impact of the holocaust here nor am I attempting to imply I see Gail Dines or the media as Hitler. But it Is the perfect example of a mass group of people being misinformed by their media as to the truth of the situation or the reality of what is in actuality the truth of the matter.
The truth is that yes we as a society are becoming more open to the idea’s of sex. There are claims the “we” the people of this society are being exposed to the adult industry at a younger age. My question becomes what is “younger”? A hundred years ago women were marrying in their teens, having children in their twenties and becoming grandparents before their forties. Two Hundred years ago, women were bearing children at twelve, being married off at ten years of age and twenty was an “old” age. Throughout the centuries we know that sex was more acceptable. We have documented proof that most societies were sexual open societies. American culture is still considered very “prude” in the global scheme of things.
Are we saying “Younger” than they were exposed in the 1950’s? By 1960 the USA was in a sexual revolution where children were surrounded by the beginning of war and the peace and love movement that exploded in the 1970’s. The USA went from “Leave it to Beaver”, Mayberry, June Cleaver and Aunt May to watching Elvis gyrate on national television. That was a sexual revolution. Women of those generations were sexually exposed. Back then they blamed “rock and roll” music and the “devil” for such sexually motivated exposers. Then came publications like “Playboy” and Larry Flint and his “Hustler” that sought to expand the sexual revolution and give people what they were asking for. By the 1980’s you had Cinemax that showed adult content after dark. So what is “younger”?
I ask Gail Dines and the anti industry folk “What is Younger”? They way history reports it there is only a twenty year gap in which American society went super conservative in the 1940’s and 1950’s and now those who were born in those generations are now coming back into play in positions of authority trying to recreate their “Leave it to Beaver” society in which they were born and raised. Those who came before them, the flapper and swingers, those who hung out in speak easy’s and those who lived in the time of a great sexual revolution of women becoming sexually liberated, and those after who grew up with peace, free love and woodstock, are not the one’s heading these anti adult fronts. It is a small fraction of the generations speaking out against the adult industry. Personally I feel if you were born in the 1940’s or 1950’s you can’t possibly have a realistic grasp on sexuality. During those generations sexually explicit material was so frowned upon and discouraged it hindered the natural progression of sexual understanding that would lead to a very healthy and sexually active lifestyle.
Is pornography and the sex industry hurting society as a whole? That’s really what it boils down to. Let’s examine that.
Prostitution is the oldest profession in the world, that’s proven fact. It existed, did exist, still exists and will continue to exist. I think to fully explore that question you have to explore why this is fact. What makes sex marketable? Why was is marketable ages hence and why now still is this a leading market in today’s society? That one is simple. Human’s are hard wired to have sex, we require it. Our bodies require it to stay healthy our minds need and crave it when we don’t have it. Men who are celebrate or refrain go through many emotional and physical states of distress, and while women are not prone to admitting it, so do we.
Pornographic content has always been available. From Michaelangelo’s David to the Mona Lisa (Which in it’s day was Porn) to Playboy and Hustler. History proves that the naked body has always been marketable. Using a prostitute was common practice, from the time of the Bible to modern day society. Having mistresses to concubines is a long standing practice. Saying that due to these things society is in a downfall is not only ignorant of history and historical practices but it also ignores the very basic principle of fact. Even in the 1950’s and to point out a fact, even JFK had his own version of a “call girl” in Marilyn Monroe. Was JFK a disgraced man who society views as a lesser being because of it? Or is this a double standard coming out?
In my opinion the ones who hold the views of the anti group are women who are so sexually inhibited they are insecure or they are men who have to hold that view point to stay in “good graces” of society. Show me a man who says he doesn’t or hasn’t looked at porn or used a prostitute at one point and I’ll show you a liar. Women all sell sex, it’s just a matter of selling it for what or how much. That’s a stark view but it’s an honest one. Whether you are the house mouse having sex with your spouse who fully financially supports you or the career woman who uses her feminine gifts to rise up the corporate ladder (Monica Lewinsky) as a female you sell yourself in one way or another. At least prostitutes are honest about it.
Is it getting more violent? I don’t think so. I think men have enjoyed sticking things into all the orifices they can for a long time, the only difference is that now it’s being filmed and shown publicly where before it was kept to a private encounter in a bed room. But making claims that a man ejaculating in a woman’s face or on her breasts is violent and dehumanizing is so far from reality you might as well say that men don’t enjoy sex and expect to be believed. That is not violent, nor is that dehumanizing. That is fun and exploitative sex. Of course people enjoy watching it, it’s a turn on. It’s different, it’s fun. We have gotten past the “good old standard” missionary position. Not because it’s new, I’ve seen greek art, but because it opens up the door for sexual exploration in a relationship.
It’s not a matter of betrayal it’s a matter or security. It’s a matter of watching something with your partner and being willing to try new things with them. Seeing things that you haven’t imagined and getting to experience it with your partner shouldn’t be feared, shouldn’t be downgraded. There is nothing wrong with a woman who enjoys adult content, because sex is natural, it’s normal and it’s healthy. Telling society it is a “bad” thing, that is the biggest and most harmful threat to women being liberated and free from the bondage of social propaganda that tells us to “be a lady”. If being a lady means I can’t enjoy sex like a man, or enjoy sexual exploration of my own body or finding out what feels good to me then I’m not liberated. Burning of the Bra’s was all for naught ladies because we are still being fed the line of “Ladies don’t have or enjoy sex” that keeps us from being equal and free to enjoy the bodies and all the wonderful sensations that comes with them.
The truth is most women don’t even know what their own vagina’s look like. The whole feminine mysteries thing is still a mystery to most women who have been told sex is shameful or enjoying sex makes you a slut. It is neither shameful or bad to want or enjoy sex on every level. It’s not shameful or evil to know what types of things your body enjoys. The Downfall of society is simply believing that sex is bad, harmful, unnatural, evil or a sin. The thing that hurts society the most is continuing the nonsense that keeps sex taboo and makes sexual discussions uncomfortable. People that claim the adult industry is what is aiding the divorce rate is nonsense. What raises the divorce rate is women who are too ashamed to be sexually active and exploitative and open minded with their husbands who are already sexually liberated. It’s time to get on even ground and stop blaming the adult industry and sex workers for marital problems due to a few insecure women who are trying to make society run according to their own inhibitions and wants. Ladies, Vagina Up here and stop worrying about society. If you enjoy sex, enjoy it, and let others enjoy it as well. It’s a necessary thing for the continuation of life on this planet. It’s part of they way the circle of life begins so you might as well make it as fun and engaging as you possibly can because sex is here to stay.
You might think about making it safer for you fellow women who work in this industry who are sexually liberated and want to continue living life their way over making all of life celibate and non sexual. Sex in itself is violent, it’s messy, it’s sticky and it’s amazing and fun. The female body is built to handle that kind of violence and even enjoy it.
If you are worried about younger people being exposed to it, here’s a thought,
The simple truth is that sex workers are in this industry for a reason, we get paid well, treated better than in any other industry especially when it comes to porn. We are treated in high regard with a lot of respect by our co workers and those who also share this industry with us. It’s only in general society we are treated harshly, dehumanized and given no respect and that say’s more about the people outside of the industry than those inside of it.
Think about it.
Just my two cents, your mileage may vary.
Brrrrr it’s cold here! I’m quickly learning how to blend in, covered up with long heavy coats and tons of layers. Quite the opposite of the warm Southern states I usually visit. So far this has been an enlightening trip and a ton of fun. I’ve gotten to experience Navy Pier and had an amazing time on a carriage ride doing fun naughty things. I really think you have to learn how to be creative in this kind of cold. It leaves exploration a must. So while trying to keep warm I’ve gotten very comfortable cuddled up to many new friends and experiencing the Chicago way of keeping warm in below zero weather. It has definitely broadened my horizons.
That brings me to my topic. Exploration in Bed
Everyone gets tired of routine and the same old thing. I know I do, and in this line of work finding ways of keeping the experience new is always a fun challenge and I learn new things every day. New positions, new sensations. All in good adult fun. I love to listen to people tell me their fantasies and I do my best to explore those with someone who can let go and fully emerge themselves in their time with me doing something full of fun and fancy.
Recently learning to enjoy cold in a whole new way was not only fun but exciting. I know ice cubes are something most people have played with in bed and sucking on an ice cube while sucking on your partner can be a fun experience but I’ve been given a few new experiences to add to that, some I’m excited to be using on those wanting a new fun experience.